How to be a good pirate

I always wondered what it would be like to live in Cornwall in the fourteenth or fifteenth centuries. The craggy landscape and the sparsely populated villages must have been the perfect setting for conspiracy and piracy. It can’t have had quite the romanticised feel as it does today; in fact I am sure that the adventures of the gypsies of the high seas resembled less the film Pirates of the Caribbean and more Pentonville prison on a boat.

Nevertheless piracy in those days must have been a rather exciting affair. The world was a much bigger place than it is now and the sea was a fantastic escape for those who couldn’t or wouldn’t live an honest living. A free for all watery adventure with the risk of shipwreck and fighting to the death…more extreme thievery than burglars today could even imagine.

I can only guess what the Cornwall and Devon tourist information of the day would advise the holiday-makers visiting from the cities. “Wear neutral colours, leave jewellery at home and look out for men with wooden legs and/or pet parrots.” Maybe holidaymakers planned their Cornwall holiday around searching for loot instead of surf life-saving; and grog may have been the drink of choice as opposed to ale.

Actually, I’m quite surprised that the tourism businesses haven’t made more of a push towards offering pirate themed holidays today. Grog ‘n’ Rum bars seem like a great idea – with a free shot for anyone who arrives in fancy dress. Loot finding Coasteering trips seem feasible too – at least for the more adventurous – where teams can battle it out for some impressive bounty and the losers can walk the plank!

And why no pirate themed hotel? What about a fabulous Cornish version of Alton Towers complete with a pirate ship rapids ride and Davey Jones ghost house.

Ok, Cornwall may not have the most expensive and exciting attractions or even any real life pirates but maybe that’s the charm. You can still imagine ladies in frilly long dresses walking arm in arm with gentlemen down the pretty little streets of St Ives or fisherman with their hand thrown nets bustling around Mevagissey. Cornwall has been largely unchanged compared to the rest of England in landscape and peoples attitudes. Not ruined by gigantic theme parks or shopping malls that seem to scar the rest of the national landscape.

A Cornwall holiday is an escape from city life. There is no pressure to shop or spend obscene amounts of money on expensive attractions. The best things to do in Cornwall don’t cost money, which is if you discount the wonderful cream teas that are served in beachside cafes all over the county!

I have concluded that I am probably much luckier to live in Cornwall today instead of in the dark days when Pirates roamed the coast. There is no chance of me being hit over the head with a bottle of rum and dragged away never to see land again as long as I live. Instead I can relax by the waves with a scone and a cup of tea and watch my kids make sand castles, or I can enjoy strolling round the lost gardens of Heligan with my wife and walk the coastal path with a delicious picnic in tow.

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Sarah Maple is interested in things to do in Cornwall and Cornwall Tourist Information

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